Guest Blog

Guys: How to Ensure You Stay Single

  1. Court a woman online and ask her to dinner.
  2. During the date, express absolutely no interest in her except as a sounding board for three hours of your musings on your ex-wife, child, and the dissolution of your marriage. Do not ask the woman anything about herself.
  3. Ignore all subtle and not-so-subtle cues that the woman has had enough and would like to conclude the date.
  4. Awkwardly try to add up what you owe and she owes on the bill. When she graciously saves your sorry ass by suggesting you split it 50/50, agree even though your share was about $15 more.
  5. Suggest you both go out again, and then leave her standing on the street in the dark by herself. Do not walk her to her car.
  6. Send the woman an email sharing the details of your last few days caring for a sick child. Describe the child’s symptoms, including diarrhea.
  7. Conclude the email by saying how much you enjoyed meeting the woman and learning more about her, and tell her you’ve met someone else you want to pursue.

By:  Haddie Nufoflosers

One Response to “Guest Blog”

  1. charslife Says:

    Ack! So painful. I already feel bad for the “someone else” he wants to pursue. Sometimes the universe is kind to us and we don’t even know it.

    🙂


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