Care

I had chosen in the past couple months to not put my break up on the blog.  Mainly because the break up was my choice and I did not want to cause any more hurt.  It was made clear there is no friendship to be salvaged and although I find that sad I understand it.

But it wasn’t until Katherine mentioned that I really haven’t blogged about Lori, and although it was under the same pretense to not cause any more hurt, as I said it I realized it also meant I was keeping someone amazing out of my blog.

Someone who has in a very short period of time taught me a lot about myself, about what I want and treats me adoringly at the same time.  But the awakening I have had has taken many forms.  I feel like I am alive, that my wishes are emerging and have room to grow and breath.  One of the most noticeable changes is not only the ability to surrender control but also the desire to.

Today I got home from picking up Missy’s remains.  There was a box at my door, it was an emergency road kit for the new car. (You know the one that broke down and is dead in the driveway)  Lori had ordered it and sent it a couple of days before I broke down.  It was a surprise and although it did not have a “from” on the packing slip I knew it was from her.  It was a very sweet surprise and just another one of the changes, although I don’t “need” to be taken care of, I find I am liking being cared for.

The kit includes tools, fix a flat, duct tape, gloves, hazard triangles, flash light, first aid kit, blanket, jumper cables and more.

One Response to “Care”

  1. Della Says:

    “although I don’t “need” to be taken care of, I find I am liking being cared for” ….

    I remember the first time I felt that, and realized what I was feeling. We were raised to take care of ourselves and never depend on anyone, that translated to “I don’t need anyone to help me with anything” which made us strong women who have a hard time accepting care from others.

    I’m glad you have someone who you trust enough to allow that in your life and not feel like you are “not taking care of it”, whatever “it” is. It’s a hard bridge to cross for the women in our family. You deserve all the care you are receiving, for you’ve given more than your share.


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