I have this “thing” with dates. I remember birthdays, anniversary dates, dates I started jobs, ended jobs, any date that someone says to me “remember this day.” I usually just need something to hang the date on.
By “hanging” it on a date, it goes something like this. I gave my TV to my friend Diane and Godson Christopher on January 18th 1991. Why or how I would remember it goes like this. The Gulf war started on Jan 16th (my friend Sarita’s birthday) 1991 (because I was thankful my mom wasn’t witnessing it, I was also still at United Graphics and my start date at Merrill was May 13 1991). I spent every spare moment on the 16th and 17th watching the coverage on CNN and when I got home from work on the 18th I turned on the TV and told my dog Czar “just a minute” to go out. It was then I actually heard myself and being young and re-active I phoned Diane and told her to come get the TV. There is no reason for any of this to still be in my brain.
This is both a blessing and a curse. I can remember birthdays and used to be better at sending cards on those days. But that also means I remember not such good dates. Tomorrow is the anniversary of Charis mom’s death. I have thought about this several times in the last few days. Probably because I can’t reach out and wish her well. The six year mark was a tough anniversary for me on my mom’s death. I think because I was at a spot where I was not always thinking about mom not being here. Then I was hit with the guilt of having not thought about her as much as the years previous.
The blessing of being able to remember dates like birthdays, is once the person is no longer here I get to have two dates (or more) that tug on that heart string. Mom’s birthday in May and anniversary in April, Brian in June and July, Grandma in April and September, Aunt Jackie in April and August. The list goes on, in fact death is not the only loss in life and if I knew your mom, father, son, daughter, brother, sister, niece, ect. birthdays there is a likelihood that on that day I think of them.
I do however get to answer random questions like at last weeks market “When did you interview for this job” to which I replied “January 22, 2011” I remember because I made the appointment on the 17th (Paola and Carlo’s birthday) and when I made that appointment my first thought was that the appointment was the day before Amber’s birthday. Linda asked when I started and I told her I accepted the job on Feb 16th and started on March 1st. None of these dates are really necessary in my head and are probably taking up room that could be used for something more important.
Important things besides this months birthdays….Sara was on the 3rd, John on the 5th, Char is on the 18th, Chari on the 22nd, Jody and Sam on the 24th, Mary on the 27th and Steve on the 28th. There will also be a new one to add as Jody was due today but last I heard there is no baby yet.
**file under Valria’s weird brain**