As we get older it seems both easier and more difficult to make friends. You know better who you are, what you like and who you want to spend time with. Once you identify a like-minded person you can decide if you want to invest the time and energy it takes to maintain a friendship. Time is valuable and although we are better at deducting friends that are mutually beneficial and worth our time, the time to invest and nurture a friendship can be hard to find, or rather hard to prioritize.
The friends we make when we are young (when time was just as valuable but there seemed to be more of it), the ones we have for decades are the steadfast friends that are always there. I send birthday wishes to dear friends I may only see once a year. But I know they are there. They know I am here, there is no questioning the depth of the friendship. Even time and distance doesn’t diminish these connections.
There is a woman at the Starbucks near my work that I think is hilarious. We have been talking for a while and I have shown her pictures of all the work we have been doing at the house. But how do you at 48 say “will you be my friend?” It’s not like I can pass her a note in home room. Today she was outside having her lunch when I went in and got my tea refilled. I decided to step out and say hi. I’m glad I did as she needed a hug and we chatted for a bit. The first conversation I’ve had on my lunch break since I started this job. As we were talking I said “I want you to be my friend.” She gave me her number.
Now I don’t know if this will turn into a friendship but it was one of the cool things that happened today. The other was from a life long friend. My dear friend Katherine is coming down to visit for a few days in December. She will be staying about half way between our house and her brothers and I am really looking forward to the visit and appreciative that she is investing the time and money to come down.
Lori and her friends have been very generous and I now consider them my friends as well. But somehow it’s just not the same.