It was a mom kind of weekend. I was just about to use up both mine and Lori’s miles to go to Seattle next weekend to see Sara for mother’s day and I got a text from Aud that Sara wasn’t doing well and it seems her death is imminent.
We then spent the weekend up at Lori’s mom’s house cleaning up the house and organizing all of the belongings to have a yard sale in a few months. There are months worth of work before this sale can happen.
Thing is with hours and hours of work, there was lots of time for me to think. I spent so much of my time sorting and cleaning and thinking of Sara. Trying to figure out if and how I can get there. But also trying to figure out who I would be going for. I want to remember Sara as she is in my mind and heart. We had a wonderful visit in February and I am so glad I went up for that weekend. I figured out I would be going for the family, so I could see them and to somehow prove I am thinking of them all at this time.
I became a part of this family because of Brian. Brian has been gone for almost twenty years. Just typing that is amazing to think. But Sara took me in and they all became family but it was always Sara who kept in contact and was my connection. It now appears to be Audrey and I am so very thankful for her continually reaching out and letting me know what is happening. Over the last few years I would only find out that Sara had been in the hospital once she was out and telling me herself. But Aud has been keeping me in the know and I again feel like I’m part of the family.
Today Aud emailed me a picture of a white board that the family had been collectively writing a poem on and I was able to email my contribution. The tears mixed right in with the sweat from working in the heat.
Next week is mothers day. I missed seeing Sara last year because I had moved but it was the first mothers day I missed in twenty years. It doesn’t look like she will make it until next weekend and after thinking about it while working all weekend even if she does I will not be there. I don’t think she will even notice if she is still here and I really just want to remember her from my last visit a couple of months ago.
So as I grasp the impeding loss of my “other” mom and help organize from the loss of Lori’s mom it was a very reflectful weekend for me. A bright spot was thinking that my dear friend Katherine was in Hawaii with her mom for a week.